Thursday, January 29, 2015

Red Light, Green Light

I like a good pie chart as much as the next person. But what's up with all the systematic charts about dating?

My roommates were looking through BYU's dating magazine, TWO, this week. It's been sitting on our table all week so I thought I'd look at it in case there was something funny I could blog about. I saw this chart as I flipped through the pages.

Now, in general, I don't take much of what's in these kind of magazines seriously. But these sort of things really bother me. There seem to always be these types of charts as if there was a rule book or manual for dating. I think we'd all LOVE a map to navigate dating and "the game," but if it was this easy or simple, we wouldn't need one! Maybe there's a lot of truth to it, but I think it gives people skewed views of what every situation should mean or not mean. Yes, one guy might follow this to a tee, but I think there are lots of cases where these "signals" only apply to a certain type of person. It does a real disservice to a lot of people, guys and girls, to generalize. 

I know it's just a fun, little magazine, but I think we should do away with this sort of thing. Or maybe I just don't like this chart because I never liked the game "Red Light, Green Light" growing up...


  1. I happened upon this magazine in an apartment of boys in my ward. I started flipping through the pages and quite frequently felt a need to clarify a lot of things, such as the generalizations that the articles make. I remember saying things such as, "Be careful with this one, this actually might not work with all women." or "I don't think this is actually how all women think... It's certainly not how I think." This traffic signals chart is particularly irking, as it generalizes all behaviors (of any given guy) and gives the course of action that any given girl should follow in said situation. Ugh. It fails to take into consideration the intentions, personality, background, individuality, etc. of each guy or girl who may be involved in a situation where a smile is produced, flirting takes place, or an invitation is extended. I am with you--Entertaining and silly? Yes. Helpful and accurate? Not so much.

  2. I am with both of you on this topic. Especially in the dating world, learning to communicate, be comfortable around, and show interest in someone is constantly changing. It's different for everyone because we are all unique! Why would some standard chart fit anyone, let alone everyone? Sure, there are some basic signs to watch out for in any relationship, but most "signs" are not generalizable. If you've had experiences like me, you start to realize that guys typically don't think so deeply into things like we ladies do. Odds are, they aren't even thinking about what message they are sending. Why should we over think it? As for girls, don't get me started on how different we all are...